Have you ever been told something that later you found out wasn’t true, you call the author of the untruth on it and they plunge a repertory of shame and blame your way?
Well to my surprise that happened to me this week.
Quick account and then what to do about it.
I had done all the preliminary paperwork for foster care to adopt. That was several hours. I had phone calls with 2 of the staff expressing my hearts desire and intention. During all of my interactions and my paperwork on multiple forms I said I am working with a law firm and plan to leave then in oct. I felt it was a 6 months certification program for foster so I would be ready to jump in in the new year.I attended the impromation meeting on line and exchanged 9 emails with staff. All that time never changing my story/plan. I then had a social worker interview. This is how many hours into the process. She told me about 5 minutes into our conversation I may not go through the certification process if I am working with the law firm. I was upset, and said why in the world didn’t anyone tell me this earlier?
I sent a follow up to the gal I’d been emailing saying unless there was some exception to the rule of getting certified prior to leaving the law firm I would have to wait.
I received a shaming letter in the mail. They said some intense things for example indicating I was asking them to break the law and they would not work with me now or very likely not in the future.
So what to do? I felt a flood of energy and shame as I read the letter, it felt dark. I had felt this earlier in the week and I now know this was the source.
SO imperfectly, I put the letter down and gave it to God immediately. This gave me some relief. As I prepared Adelia her supper, the letter off by the tea pot. Hmm what is this feeling? Oh a curse came wrapped in the shame crazy, a demonic curse, why would an fost adopt agency send out cursed mail? I thought someone had recently told me they had heard something about this group that wasn’t so good. So I wondered was it a bait and switch scheme to get me fully in their corral, why would they have not told me earlier about this rul and I would not have proceeded?
I had first felt I needed to defend myself to them, but as I thought more about it I thought I did not need to justify my pure actions to a person who is ready to send a curse, put blame and shame into a letter, rather than saying something lovely like we made an error we won’t do that again we respect your decision to wait and know whatever you choose in the future will be a good choice. Which means If I had worked with them I would have likely fallen into difficult communications.
So knowing the mental part is good but you still need to clear. Take out your chart and see what it was that happened
In this case
Shame, blame the entitlement governance anc corporation demonic curse and curse were some of the issues that were sent to me. Prayer first is really good when you are calm and trusting all is in Divine order, you can settle into a powerful shift. Platter can be a good choice for a clearing style.
The point of me telling you this story is that every day we are faced with energies coming at us. Sometimes we wonder why we feel funky and off, and a good clean out can really help.
I am grateful not to be working with this organization. I am grateful for my discernment and ability to love and nurture myself even when there is a difficult energy coming at me of disapproval and punishment.
Coincidently earlier the same day I was approved to go through an ABA therapy course at no cost to me, because of my amazing parenting, that I have always put my daughters first and that deserves a reward.
Life is amazingly full of challenges we can grow from.I am glad I could discern the issue from the letter, but in the future, it’s possible there will be no hooks to allow any of that to even appear in my space. In a perfect world right?