Henry is a sweet little fella; I call my mighty man. His loving energy permeates a room, and he is clearly a peacemaker. Henry was born at 32 ½ weeks gestation, breathed totally on his own within 2 days, and although he had a 3-week stay in NICU never went into an incubator! The Doc said he acted much older and bigger than he actually was; he was so ready to get on with life. He seemed to have no time to waste.
But before we talk about Henry, perhaps we should tell of the circumstances of how Henry found his way into my care. In perhaps July of 2022, I heard of a crisis from the flood of drugs and illegal immigrants crossing our border. A very specific crisis that spoke to my heart in this one instance was the babies born to drug-addicted moms. They were taken away from the moms by the state, who had no capacity to care for their little ones, and unfortunately, the pandemic meant there were fewer foster parents to handle this situation so babies leaving the hospital were ending up, at least some of them in orphanages.
I had been asked 3 times over the past couple of years if I would consider taking another baby from the private adoption law firm I had previously worked with. We had taken physical custody of a little fella born on cocaine, fragile, blind, deaf with a compromised liver. I lost him as he was funneled back into the system, where he returned to the care of his cocaine-addicted birth mom. I felt him pass away, no longer alive, 3 weeks after losing him. This had caused such grief in me. It’s a sad thing to realize that though I was willing to step up and care for him for a lifetime, I could do nothing legally to protect this sweet little man.
So when asked, I would say yes, maybe, but I did not act to get the home study done. And without a home study, a baby is not placed.
But my heart stirred, and I heard God saying He wanted me to do this. He wanted me to love and care for more children. I had complete evidence of this when searching for a new home, looking at over 50 houses in 3 Texas cities. I walked into our current home and felt, ‘oh, umm, feels wonderful; this is where we are meant to be. And as I walked through the house, with 4 bedrooms and a den with just my 5-year-old daughter and myself, I knew God had plans for me to take in more children as a mother. I saw the house in Jan 2021; I believe it was in contract several times and fell out for various reasons. As well, my own home In California was on the market and had 3 sales on it before it finally closed 11 months later. But an urgent need to get the house in the contract was felt in April when my CA house was in contract for the 2nd time. A miracle, the house we now own had just fallen out of contract and was not yet on the market. I acted quickly and put in an offer. I was now in contract. Just before closing the CA house, the buyers backed out. I was left with a huge repair project and had to take my CA house off the market for 4 months while an entire wall of the house was demolished and restored to perfect condition.
I knew what God had intended for me was not to wait, so I pulled money out of retirement and managed to get a loan for the new home. We rewrote the contract and closed in mid-July. My CA home closed in November way over the asking price, so although it didn’t look like a perfect plan, it truly was miraculous how everything unfolded for us. I was able to pay off both of the mortgages, so I would not have any house payments. This also felt like a sign from God to make a way for the children and not be concerned so much about where the money would come from to make everything work.
Back to Henry. He was born from a birth mom who lived in a border town. She had obviously struggled with drug addiction for a long time. This was baby number 5, and so sad all 4 previous children had been taken by the state and been adopted out. The man who provided the seed was apparently abusive. I was told she would not reveal his name as domestic violence was involved, and she wanted to keep the baby safe.
What I imagine and do not know for sure about the birth mom. She named him, and the name reflected a Catholic upbringing. The act of naming a child you will not raise is an act of love and a desire to give the child something, one last thing from you. He is such a sweet child. I imagine she must have been a sweet woman and just gotten so lost in her drug addiction she could not help herself to overcome the addiction to be a mother. I have cried for her several times that she could abandon the children she carried. For me, it is so sad.
Henry was both drug and violence exposed. His sweet little self goes through shaking and rapid breathing episodes. At very first, he would seem to have full-on earthquakes in his tiny body. This stops after 8 days, but the shakes and breathing episodes, as well as fussy episodes, which appear he is in some kind of pain, continue. Drug withdrawals are likely nearing an end. More reason to thank God he did not have to be on Morphine to come off the drugs. Levels were low enough that he managed on his own unmedicated.
I was grateful he came so early. You may wonder why. My reasoning was the damage to the brain for another 8 weeks would have been much worse. My reasoning was right; the Doctor looked surprised when I said it out loud while holding him in the NICU, and she confirmed, yes, we find babies who come early do much better than full-term babies whose mothers are on drugs.
Who is Henry to me at almost 6 weeks? He is a mighty little man. The Doctor was right; he acts much older and bigger than he actually is and is quite determined to get on with life. She also said everyone loves him. He is always so content and not a troublemaker. This is humorous to me; how can a baby 8 weeks premature be a troublemaker? But it did make sense. He is easygoing and grateful, and you feel his personality even at this young age.
I believe I was spiritually in contact with him for about 3 months prior to meeting him. I knew I would be receiving a boy and had his name picked out. The nursery was ready for a boy. I had heard the number 14, so I assumed I would get him on November 14, but in actuality, he was born prior to my license coming on Oct 14.
The journey to licensing wasn’t too challenging; I just set aside days each week to fill my requirements, take exams and attend a few live classes requiring in-person certifications. As well I had asked my church (the Bridge church in Boerne) to assist me with some preparations in our home. What a lovely blessing to have our community, both neighbors and church folks, come help ready our home for state requirements and comfort.
I was thanked many times for stepping up to this calling, and I appreciate it, but I did this because God told me to, not for any recognition. God told me I would take in 2 boys and adopt them. They would come about 6 months apart. I would raise them like twins. I wonder how it all will come together, but it appears God knows and has plans for me, and when I need to know the details, they will come.
Henry’s challenges. He had drug exposure, so he does have the ‘behaviors’ of a brain traumatized from drugs. Shakes quakes restlessness, fussy, erratic breathing. As well he is in the 4% of children for size and weight. His head size is growing nicely, and he seems to be filling out his preemie clothes, so at this rate, he will catch up in a few months.
His birth mother had Hepatitis C. It is rarely passed down to the child, unlike hepatitis B that is. However, he had a normal birth and was not protected from the birth canal fluids, so he was exposed and will need a couple of appointments to determine if this will be an issue, which appears when treated early seems to really make a difference.
He came home with an immature larynx/throat. Drinking milk from a bottle has presented some issues; gulping 8-10x’s followed by panicked rapid breathing is his technique. But he is maturing, and we are in his 3rd week; it does appear he may have had a breakthrough as drinking milk is going much better, and the panicked breathing is subsiding too.
He came home at 4 pounds 2 ounces. The smallest you can be to ride in a car seat. He is now over 5 pounds and willing himself to grow. When I speak to him about how important it is to drink all his milk, he seems to understand, and although he often has a tummy ache (which I use my infant massage training to help soothe), he still goes for as much as he can, and typically keeps it all down too!
The heart and lungs are strong. The doctor commented that he has a very quiet heart. His liver is good. He is in the early stages of using his eyes; they are dark blue. He is a beautiful boy with a full head of fine black hair. I am making a guess about the Mexican and Central American family trees. Perfect, very tiny hands and feet.
It is my plan that he will become a permanent part of our family through adoption within 13 months. This takes into consideration the laws of the state, which we are bound to as I am a licensed foster care provider.
He got his voice about a week ago. It is a good strong cry, but he can cry for about 5 minutes (in the car) and then is too exhausted to cry any longer and falls asleep. He does not yet like car rides. He wants mommy all the time and loves to snuggle. He raises his hands and arms straight up to tell me to burp him, the most adorable sign language ever, and I am already teaching him the sign for milk so he can ask for it. He rolls from side to side. He loves to play with Adelia. Likes his swing, and Adelia said he likes to drink milk. He doesn’t like it when his big sister is naughty. He likes his crib, and he likes being rocked in the rocking chair. He likes the lullabies we play in the car. He likes it when Adelia sings to him. He reaches for his big sister when they share the play mat on the floor. He tries to hug and reaches out his hands. He has the cutest expressions when he is sleeping and is gazing and really opening his eyes for the past couple of days.
Prayers
- Growth is strength, weight height, and his brain is strong and vital
- Be free of the ailments of the birth parents (no hepatitis C or unknown issues)
- Free of the addiction tendencies
- Ease in stomach digestion
- The body forms beautifully, not compromised by the early arrival
