This is a kind of vent, using some sound teachings to vent my indignation and sorrow over what has been done to me. If you’re not in the mood to read a scriptural vent, skip this, I will understand. Otherwise read on.
Having been shocked and mortified by what my church pastor did to me personally, I have searched scripture to see what the standards are for a leader and then matched that up to my experience.
I am studying the very short book of Titus. This contains instruction to Titus, who is a protégé of Paul, as they are setting up churches. Titus is in Crete. Please note he refers to the circumcision group – those would be those born into the Jewish faith.
Appointing Elders Who Love What Is Good
5 The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint[a] elders in every town, as I directed you. 6 An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe[b] and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. In this case I looked to my pastor to help uplift and support me in prayer after the attempted murderous knife attack from A. I asked if he would pray with me 30 minutes a week for 4 weeks. He said he was much too busy. No other solution or direction was given.
7 Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless – not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. He told me he was justified in reporting me to CPS, then spouted some hearsay about me leaving A… which I countered with her friend for 2 nights and her sitter 2 nights while Henry was hospitalized. He said if you are blameless then it shouldn’t matter, if what the therapists are saying is true it shouldn’t matter. I said you are wrong. Being falsely accused matters. Having my life blown up matters.
8 Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. I asked him if he knew about the CPS report. Yes, he said, there is a lot going on at your house, it is my duty to report you, the school board decided. I asked him why he wouldn’t have just asked me? Why? He said we talk all the time. I said you mean the 2 minutes I say A is back in the hospital and no conversation follows? That is not talk.
9 He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. This man is not trustworthy, arrogant and thoughtless, so interested in his pursuits to grow the size of the church and his reach, grow the wealth of the church, he doesn’t care for the needs of the flock already and their asking for help.
Rebuking Those Who Fail to Do Good
10 For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception. A leader is to ask, support and care for the “sheep” he leads. All of the accusations against me from the church were flat out lies, none of them were true, and I can prove each point a lie with credentialed documentation – especially those of the circumcision group. 11 They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach – and that for the sake of dishonest gain. To owe allegiance to the State before prioritizing the needs of the congregation, he said he had to report me because they run a school. Little did he know the entirety of their report was false.
12 One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.”[c] 13 This saying is true. (This statement is from a poem of this time, a popular saying.) Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14 and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the merely human commands of those who reject the truth. These leaders are to be rebuked sharply so they have the opportunity to change and be better.
15 To the pure, all things are pure. I want so badly to believe God’s church on earth has in its essence purity, but here is yet another example of evil running rampant. The hours I spent disproving the lies, the strain and overwhelm of such a deep betrayal. I come back to God and ask fervently for Him to make things right, heal my heart, the trauma and the grief of losing my church, the women’s Bible study support group, and Henry’s school all in one fell swoop.
But to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. Does a minister who refuses to pray with a parishioner deserve to be where he is? Does one who files a false report without getting the facts belong in a leadership role at all?
16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.