We had our first home visit with Miss Adelia this past weekend. I got advice that was so helpful, I thought for your parents you might enjoy these tips.
If your child is prone to exaggerations and lies, it may be the brain grabbing at ideas and filling in the blanks, and the child does not know it is untrue. This is called confabulation. You could explain to your child that everyone does this occasionally, but their brain does it more. And point it out to them when they are doing it with or your brain is doing that thing again. This does let them save face there is no battle of wills, it is identified, but not in an accusatory way.
For this visit I was advised to have someone at the ready to take Henry for an hour to walk with them and their dog if Adelia was straining to behave. It would give a chance for the jealousy to cool down and to reset with just the two of us for a short time.
The absolute no touching Henry rule. She would not follow this and it just kept going the entire trip, resulting in Henry having night terrors last night. I need to work on this more. They advised the kids to come up with a special hand gesture that means I love you.
Don’t, under any circumstances, get into a power struggle. When Adelia was angry, I would say the rule or thing she was opposed to, I would in very few words explain why and turn my attention elsewhere. This worked amazingly well. She told me later during the visit. You know, Mom, some kids don’t work it out and behave badly when they go home, so they have to go back again. I don’t want that to happen to me; I love you and Henry and miss you. My goal is to be home for the holidays, Mom.
