Many of you know I’ve been experiencing some significant challenges. I for one am feeling a great deal of calm as we enter a new year, knowing the challenges we have met well and goodness is ahead.
I’ve been steeping my early morning thoughts in the 21-day wealth acceleration program with the gratitudes and visions of a wonderful year ahead. As well, I’ve been doing some deep inner work on the idea that I am enough. This is apparently a common thread for most successful women. The thing that gives us drive often comes from the intent to be more, do more, and help more.
I will point out the flaw though of feeling not enough. If you feel not enough, it will bleed into those you love, and work with too. It affects everyone around you whether you know it or not.
I am not speaking of worthy, or good enough, I feel I am good on these, what I am speaking to is the need for perfection in the self.
For example: I was at the crucifixion and was broken-hearted that my prayers and spiritual gifts could not change what was happening.
However during the OJ Simpson trial I wrote a strong letter to president Clinton improving a full on shift in our nation’s policy ending abuse against women and children and my 9-page proposal ended up in committee. They literally used every idea I had presented and the world changed.
Then losing my 3 children in a horrific custody battle, I felt broken as my 100’s of hours of prayer could not change the course of what was playing out in my devastated life.
Then went on to work and help deliver 140 high-risk babies and mothers safely, saving many lives, fully present and with all my power pulling children who may not have been born alive, and mothers who may have died in labor through to the otherside.
I think somehow, especially with women, we struggle with this feeling of not being enough, not perfect. If only I could have, and when those moments of challenge hit we’re right there processing the deepest archetypal pains imaginable.
For this I think we must grieve the loss of what we were unable to change and trust that it was and is all in Divine order. There is an unseen plan. And infrequently but occasionally, we’ll experience frustration and even what in our minds is failure.
If I hadn’t felt so passionate about the abuse and death of Jesus, would I have had the passion to be a strong instrument for change for all the abused women and children in the US and all the charity work I do for those in third world countries?
And had I not lost custody and the loving relationship with my 3 birth children could I, or even would I, have been drawn the help the most serious and difficult gestation challenges most surely changing lives, helping many to live healthy, happy lives with their families?
This last week when my sweet Adelia was on a rant I spoke words of love to her that she is enough, and then look in the mirror and reassure myself I am enough.
We’ll be working these issues as we progress through our Academy classes. We’ll learn to sit with, hold space for, embrace and finally release the question: am I enough? And we’ll develop a strong drive to assist without feeling we need to be more perfect, do more, or fix it.
As this shifts, you and I can be seen more authentically as our true self, the light and love of God can shine even more radiantly through our hearts and minds as we shine the light into the world
