As we go through life we inevitably get a chance to test our resilience. There is sometimes a disconnect with our capacity and our resilience, and that is the notion I would like to explore with you today.
As you may know, my kids had the flu this week. No big deal, a bit of extra work for Mama but all families with little ones go through this, and it’s part of life. Well, hmm, is that how it really plays out?
Adelia’s illness lasted 2 days, the first day miserably sick, the second day exhausted. Third day back to school she was a little extra tired but mostly back to normal. I’d say I met the challenge well. My ability, capacity, and resilience remained at 100%.
When Henry became ill with the same illness it was all I could do to keep him clean and dry first day he threw up 14 times with 2 big blows out on the other end, the second day he was so bad he flooded his bed with pooh and it just kept coming till we went to urgent care, they looked at him and said please go to the hospital we think he’ll need to be admitted and on an IV. His breathing had become labored. He was in and out of sleep and waking in my arms and the watery poop just kept coming out, so at least 10 costume changes.
My capacity to care for a child in distress is off the charts. I would not faint, become weak, or run, I would always stand by my child and fight for them. So capability and ability is set at 100%.
What about resilience? Resilience is the ability to:
a. bounce back after a trauma or difficulty, and to
b. perform the tasks ahead of you without a heavy burden or weight of emotion.
I feel during the hospital visit, especially the first hour I was about 50% resilient, close to tears, exhausted emotionally, and not at ease.
When I look at this I think a couple of factors are big in reliance. How I was set as a woman in my clan/family.
- What a woman was expected to be and what she had permission or was allowed to be and
- The traumas in my own life around children and loss are likely not fully grieved and cleared which then will interfere with resiliency. Both of these are very similar to a realm. A realm of lower resilience provided by family programming and a realm of not fully cleared grief and loss from my history. Post-traumatic stress you could say. If grief and loss is not fully moved out of the system you cannot be 100% resilient.
I feel so blessed to be so entirely capable. I thank God every day for the gifts he has given me and the confidence I have to live my life. For me, this remains constant.
So what do we do when we see this disparity between reliance and capacity? How do I shift this, and how can I advise you to shift so that we may be 100% resilient?
I don’t think we need to do a ton of grief work to move grief out, but we do need to acknowledge to yourself the losses and pains of our past. Understand that dreams of what would have been a future with whatever was lost is no longer possible and make peace with living a new story and a new future without what is no more. Drop is a great hand pump 4 hours is a good amount of time for up to 5 issues. And for the controls, or set points from clan you may still be living with Reverse Halfmoon 7 hours would likely clear this.
I was so sorry to have missed the 2 important classes I postponed on Thursday while poor darling Henry was so very ill. If my canceling that day caused inconvenience for you please accept Henry and my apologies. It was what I will call a fast and furious episode. Henry is resting comfortably at home, it is Saturday afternoon as I am writing this he is asleep. He has a weird flu bug and bronchitis without a cough. Reverse half-moon if you would like to pump for our little man.
